Protection
by oldmule
Summary: Harry's being protective, Ruth's not happy about it. Where can it all go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

**Post S9, post inquiry. No idea where we're going.

* * *

**

"Sorry, Ruth, I need you to stay here."

"But I can be of use on the operation."

"And you can be just as useful here."

"But Harry.."

"End of discussion, Ruth."

With that Harry, Beth and Dimitri turned to the pods. Ruth and Tariq remained on the grid, her face fixed as she silently cursed Harry's decision.

Tariq looked at her.

"He just wants to keep you out of danger," he dared, softly.

"Well, he doesn't need to. He has no right to…I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself."

Tariq didn't answer that one. He didn't want to point out that her last two excursions from the grid hadn't exactly been a raging success.

As they stood silently Alec emerged and he too headed for the pods.

"Tariq, you're with me. Let's go."

Tariq looked at Ruth.

"What are you waiting for?" shouted Alec.

Tariq smiled apologetically at her and followed Alec.

"I'll just man the fort here then, shall I? Don't worry about me," she called after them, now even more annoyed.

But they were gone.

She looked around the now empty grid and sighed.

"Fine," she muttered and returned to her desk.

* * *

"I don't think Ruth was very happy," Alec told Harry.

Harry grimaced. He knew that he wouldn't hear the end of this one. He could just imagine the rather stern expression that she would be wearing when she inevitably visited his office to berate him for treating her with such kid gloves.

"I'd lay low if I were you," advised Alec, reading his mind.

"That or make sure the decanter's well filled," Harry replied.

The two of them smiled and walked back into the reception room.

* * *

"Harry, we have Narwaaz," Beth's voice broke through the coms.

"And the explosives?" he asked.

"Secured," came Dimitri's voice.

"Good. Let's get him back to the grid and find out who the hell is behind this."

* * *

The pod doors swished open once more.

The grid was empty.

"Ruth," called Harry.

"She's more annoyed with you than you thought," laughed Alec.

"Annoyed, yes, but to the point of going home, never."

Beth walked to her desk and wearily went to sit down. She never quite reached her chair, instead she froze mid sit.

Harry knew there was something wrong.

He crossed following Beth's eye line.

Ruth was lying on the floor behind her desk. Still. Silent. White.

"Ruth," Harry was on his knees beside her.

"Ruth…." his fingers reached for her pulse, he could feel nothing only the tight knot of panic rising in his chest.

"Ruth," he called once more, begging his fingers to feel something. Begging to feel the whisper of a pulse. Begging for some sign of life.

Begging.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tiny update. More tonight, hopefully.

* * *

**

The team hung back caught between their extreme concern for Ruth and their respect for Harry's intense personal feelings.

He was still knelt on the floor, cradling her head now, bent over whispering in her ear, his fingers not daring to leave the faintest pulse point in her neck, afraid that if he lost touch with it, he would never find it, or her again.

A phone rang.

"The paramedics are here," reported Dimitri in a quiet voice.

Harry didn't react, he heard but his focus was all on Ruth. They would be here soon, moving her, taking her away from him.

He bent his head, his lips gently caressing hers, begging for a response, even if it was only a slap but knowing no response was likely.

"Ruth, don't leave me," his whispered words were caught in her lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Characters aren't mine and I've not really got much idea what I'm talking about, but hey, enjoy...I hope.**

* * *

Harry sat in the ambulance, his hand clinging onto hers. The paramedic worked round him, monitoring the various feeds that were now attached to Ruth.

"Have you any idea what it is?" Harry said quietly.

"It's really for the doctor to say."

Harry's eyes fixed upon him and wordlessly demanded an answer.

"I'm not certain," he hesitated.

"Then give me your best guess."

"I'd say it looks very much like a heroin overdose."

Of all the answers he could have given that was by the far the furthest from Harry's wildest imaginings.

"Though she doesn't look like a user," added the paramedic.

"She's not!"

"I'm sorry."

The paramedic watched Harry's jaw clench and saw his knuckles whiten. He wisely decided to say no more.

Ruth lay pale and still, her hand loose in his, cold and lifeless.

He willed her to open her eyes, to feel the pressure of her fingers against his, to make any sound, any sign of the life he cherished so much.

Heroin, he thought. Ridiculous. This was Ruth. There was more chance of hell freezing over.

* * *

"Miss Evershed has taken an overdose of heroin," pronounced the doctor.

"That's not possible," said Harry.

"It is and she has."

Harry shook his head.

"How well do you know her, Mr Pearce?"

"I know her as well as anyone."

"Are you her partner?'

Harry hesitated and shook his head.

"Then you can't really know her."

Harry wondered if he was right.

"Has she been depressed, at all?"

"She's had a difficult time but she's strong, she would never take drugs, no matter what."

"You'd be surprised how many people I've heard tell me that," said the doctor with a sad smile.

"Well, this time it's true," replied Harry, refusing to believe.

"As you wish, Mr Pearce."

"More importantly" said Harry changing the subject, "how is she and when can I see her?"

"She should recover in the next 24 to 48 hours. You can probably see her in an hour or two."

Harry nodded as the doctor's name was called and he hurried away to the next emergency.

Harry sank back to the uncomfortable waiting room seat and tugged at his tie, it felt tight, the air felt constricted, he needed to breath, to think, to see.

He thought about Ruth, he thought about the long sleeved tops and blouses she always seemed to wear, he wondered about the track marks that may be lying unseen. He thought about her state of mind, her emptiness of late, her distance, her pale, tired face.

His hands covered his face.

"Ruth," he whispered, "dear god, no."


	4. Chapter 4

"I need to see her now."

"That's not possible."

"You can't stop me," announced Harry, to used to having his own way. He stepped forward purposefully.

"I can and I will," said the sister blocking him. She was more fearsome that he had anticipated.

It was not in Harry's nature to say 'do you know who I am' but he was very close to saying it right now.

"I have to see her, peoples lives depend upon it." He fixed her with his best and most serious expression, failing to mention that the only life that he really believed depended upon seeing her was his own.

She sighed in a slightly exasperated manner but said nothing and refused to move.

Harry changed tack.

"I love her," he said simply.

She looked at him, this time he thought he saw a softness cross her face.

"Please…."

She stepped to one side, "just try and let her rest."

"Thank you," he said and smiled.

The sister walked away wondering how a woman still in her prime could want to effectively kill herself when she had a smile like that to look at everyday.

Ruth lay wired up to god knows what.

Harry's fingers slid up her arm and beyond the v of the inside of her elbow, brushing away the gown that swamped her.

There were no needle marks there.

He was torn between the confirmation of his belief in her and a tiny sceptical part of his head that knew how clever users were, and Ruth, well, she had the potential to be the cleverest of them all.

Several hours had passed. He had refused to move.

His tie, now unfastened, hung around his neck as his eyes closed, fighting sleep.

His hand rested on hers, standing guard, waiting the smallest sign, the tiniest indication that she would wake, a lone sentinel that refused to rest.

His hand screamed a message to his brain and his eyes shot open.

She lay still, her eyes remained closed.

But her fingers….her fingers were curling infinitesimally around his.

He fought his impatience, he fought the need to hold her, he fought the need to wake her.

He sat and breathed deeply.

Her eyes flickered open, unfocused.

"I'm here, Ruth," he whispered.

"Harry?" her small voice rasped back.

"Yes, Ruth," he squeezed her hand.

Her eyes struggled against the lids that were threatening to close once more, as her head heavily turned towards him.

There was a familiar face beside her, a tender voice, a warm hand.

"Harry…"

"It's okay. It's all going to be okay."

She was struggling to answer him, struggling to speak.

"No…no."

"Ruth, please, rest," his fingers tenderly stroked her hand.

"The grid….Harry…the grid…compromised. Needle…couldn't call you."

Her eyes were swinging towards the ceiling as she fought to remain conscious.

"There was someone on the grid, Ruth?"

She nodded.

"Did they do this to you, did they inject you?"

"Yesss….." she said and for the time being she was gone again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for delay - mega busy!**

* * *

"What!" Dimitri thought he had heard wrong.

"Go through everything, strip it down and find out who was there," demanded Harry.

"But we've already looked through all the footage, there was no one on the grid."

"Dimitri, what do you believe? The grid is compromised, or Ruth is a heroin addict?"

"We'll look again," said Dimitri and hung up knowing without a shadow of a doubt which alternative he believed.

Harry put the phone back into his pocket seeing the doctor pass as he did so.

"She's no addict. There's not a mark on her," he said accusingly.

"And you've looked everywhere, have you?"

Harry did not like his attitude, he thought about a multitude of responses, one of which included a swinging right hook. His self restraint remained intact, however.

"When will she be able to go home?'

"Mr Pearce, if she had not been found when she had, Miss Evershed would be dead right now."

"I am aware of that, however you did say she would be recovered within 24 to 48 hours."

"She should be fine to leave tomorrow," the doctor turned away, abruptly.

"Thank you," said Harry, not without a rather heavy slice of irony.

He returned to Ruth's room only to find her asleep. His hand hovered above her hair wanting to stroke it away from the face he loved so well. It hovered and hesitated and finally held off as he quietly turned away, deciding to return to the grid and wreak some kind of revenge on who had done this.

xxx

"There's nothing straightforward, I've swept the grid three times for foreign devices, bugs, trackers, cameras. I've been through the hard drive, the main frame and each individual terminal and there is nothing."

"Tariq, I don't care what you ….." Harry's tone was not one which invited interruption but Tariq dared.

"But I have found one thing."

Harry stopped, his tirade temporarily paused.

"It's very clever actually, in fact it's more than that…"

"Sod the admiration society Tariq and tell me what the hell it is."

Tariq smiled, "As far as I can tell there was nothing on our system whatsoever.'

Harry raised his eyebrows, his patience fading rapidly.

"Until," added Tariq dramatically, "I launched the programmes for sweeping the system. That's where they buried it. As soon as we knew there was something wrong that software was always going to be used and that was the easiest for them to effect. Very clever."

"Yes, very bloody clever. We come back from taking Narwaaz, find Ruth dead and sweep the system and thus compromise the grid."

"But we didn't find Ruth dead, thank god," said Beth.

"Whoever did this weren't to know that the operation would have been completed so quickly," growled Harry.

"Ruth would have just been collateral," Beth concluded.

"Bastards," muttered Dimitri.

"Tariq, has this breach given them anything?"

"No, although the idea is clever the software is not sophisticated enough to get past the fail safes I have in place. They would have been able to view our lists and caches but not open any of them."

"Good," said Harry, "we should review anything sensitive that could be gleaned from file names alone just in case."

Tariq nodded and turned away. Harry looked at Beth and Dimitri.

"Go through every camera in the building and outside, we have to know who did this."

xxx

"Hi."

"Hi."

He stepped slowly from the door and sat beside her.

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been better."

He smiled, not knowing quite what to say next and thinking the rather strange thought that he almost wished her unconscious again so that he did not have to feel such awkwardness and restraint once more.

"So why did you stop me from going on the operation to take Narwaaz?"

Harry hesitated.

"Well?"

"I thought you'd be safer on the grid."

She laughed a bitter laugh, "You thought wrong."

"Yes, Ruth, I did and I am sorry. I thought you'd been through enough recently."

"Perhaps you should stop worrying about me and just do your job, Harry."

It sounded more of a reprimand than she had intended and she regretted it at once.

"I always worry about my team, Ruth, you should know that."

She nodded. Her head hurt and she was sick of hospital gowns.

"I want to go home."

"Tomorrow, they said tomorrow."

"No, today, I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Ruth. You could have died."

She glared at him.

"But I didn't."

"No, you didn't," his hand flexed and was within inches of hers, this time he did not stop it.

She looked at him, surprised by the touch.

"I'm fine, Harry," she said once more.

"Of course," he said, his eyes sad and lonely and lost. He sighed, let go of her hand and stood up.

"I'll go and tell them I'm taking you home,"

She opened her mouth.

"And don't begin to suggest, Ruth, that you'll make your own way home." He walked out and she was left, not thinking about herself but wondering what she had done to him, what they had done to each other to be left with such a feeling of emptiness.

xxx

Their journey back to her house had been in the most part quiet and a little awkward. He had installed her at home, on the sofa, with a cup of tea and handed her care over to Beth, who had conveniently arrived home early.

"Goodbye, Ruth."

She nodded. He turned away and quietly closed the door behind him.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Beth.

Ruth shook her head, it still hurt.

Beth was looking off after Harry.

"We thought you were dead, Ruth," she said simply, "though he wouldn't believe it."

There was something about the way she said it, the way her face was still turned to where Harry had last been, the look in her eyes as she remembered the scene on the grid.

Ruth wanted to ask but she didn't, instead she waited, silently.

"I've never seen him like that," added Beth, "so desperate, so lost."

Her gaze swung to Ruth.

"He loves you very much, doesn't he?"

But Ruth never answered.

xxx

Harry's phone rang. He hit the handsfree.

"Yes."

"Harry, I've found something you need to see. Now,' said Dimitri.

"I'm on my way."

The accelerator hit the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

"So, Ruth says that she saw nothing?" Dimitri looked to Harry for confirmation.

"She came out of the forgery suite, was grabbed and saw only the hands and needle that injected her."

"Though there's no record of it on the cctv because it's been tampered with."

"Yes… and?" prompted Harry, keen for him to get to the point.

"And we have narrowed it down from when she went in there, to when we all returned, cross referenced the cameras inside and outside the building within that period and, though we still don't know how he got access to the grid, the only person unaccounted for is this one." He pressed a button on the computer and Harry found himself looking at the picture of a suited, clean shaven man, unremarkable in size and feature.

"Do you know him?" asked Dimitri, as he watched Harry's face slowly change before him.

"Yes, I know him."

Harry immediately reached for his phone.

"Beth?'

"Hi, Harry."

"How's Ruth?"

"She's fine, she's still on the sofa, I think she's sleeping."

"Good. …Beth, don't leave her alone."

"Is there something wrong?"

"No. Just do as I ask, please."

"Of course, Harry. Don't worry."

He put the phone down. He was worried.

"Who is it?" Dimitri asked again, still looking at the screen.

"Johnny McGuire."

Dimitri waited for more.

Harry walked towards his office, both Dimitri and then Alec followed, the later summoned by a flick of the head from Harry.

"Johnny McGuire was an IRA member who I came across when I was stationed in Northern Ireland. We had warning of a bomb threat, we acted though we couldn't prevent the explosion, what we did though was delay it. McGuire's wife left her mother in law's to do some late shopping, she wasn't meant to be there. She was killed by his bomb but only because of the delay and for that he blamed me. I killed his wife."

"That's crazy," said Dimitri.

"That's McGuire," stated Harry.

"So this attack on Ruth, was that about terrorist access to the grid or about you?" said Alec.

"You mean revenge for his wife by attacking Ruth because Harry loves her?" Dimitri asked, realising with dread that maybe nobody had ever said those words out loud in front of Harry before.

Harry looked at Dimitri but decided to say nothing. What was the point? He was right.

"Well, if he was after revenge then he no doubt believes that he had got it because he left Ruth for dead," replied Alec.

"Except she isn't and he may still come after her," Harry was worried.

Tariq chose this moment to burst through the door.

"Got him," he announced.

"McGuire?" asked Harry.

"Yep, facial recog identified him and I traced him to a flat in Lewisham fifteen minutes ago."

"Let's go," said Alec, already halfway out of the office.

"Don't come back without him," called Harry.

"No chance of that," answered Dimitri before he disappeared from the doorway.

xxx

"He's gone."

"What!"

"I'm sorry, Harry, but there's no sign of him. He's given us the run around."

Alec heard the cursing down the phone and waited patiently.

"Keep looking Alec, he has to be somewhere and we need to know where."

Harry picked up his coat and strode out of the office, "I'll be on my mobile."

That night he spent in a cold car, collar up, arms folded, eyes open. Never losing sight of Ruth's front door. Yes, Beth was inside but even that wasn't enough to reassure him. He never slept, he never looked away. Watchful, alert, intent on protecting her in a way he had failed to so many times before.

Just after dawn broke and he saw the lights turn on in the rooms upstairs he drove away and quickly showered and changed at Thames House before returning to his desk and searching through all his old records about McGuire in search of something, anything.

There was still no word from Alec, nor Dimitri.

Harry was not happy.

Beth suddenly came into view on the other side of his window. He was up and out within seconds.

"Beth, what the hell? I told you to…."

Beth stopped him with a nod of her head.

Harry looked around. There was Ruth, standing by her desk, taking her coat off.

His eyes spun back to Beth, the accusation there long before his mouth found the words.

"I couldn't stop her," said Beth.

"Ruth," Harry was halfway across the grid, 'what the hell are you doing here?"

"Working," she said, sitting down.

"You should be at home."

"There's nothing to be home for, I might as well be here, being useful," she replied rubbing at the back of her neck.

Harry sighed. At least he could keep an eye on her here. In fact he determined not to let her out of his sight for as long as it took to find McGuire.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Mmm, my neck's sore, I think I may have cut it," she said grimacing.

"Let me see," and before she could object he was by her side, stroking her hair delicately away from her neck. A shiver ran through her.

"Sorry, are my hands cold?"

"No," it was the touch not the temperature that made her shiver.

The gentle scent of her perfume drifted up to him and for a moment he forgot why her hair was in his hands and why his face was close to her neck.

"Can you see anything?" she asked, bringing him back to himself.

"I…er..yes, it looks like you have a small cut just under your hairline right at the back of your head. Shall I get you some germoline, or something?"

Ruth was thinking about the 'or something', and wondering if even only for a moment he had thought about kissing her neck.

He had thought of little else.

"Any news on who drugged me?" she asked, suddenly, trying to regain some kind of composure.

He hesitated and released her hair, letting it fall gently back to her neck.

"Harry?"

"Johnny McGuire, ex IRA, with a grudge."

"A grudge against what, the government? Five?"

"Me," he admitted.

Ruth went to speak but decided not to. For two people who had never had a relationship it was amazing how often she was the one identified as Harry's weak spot.

"I'm sorry, Ruth."

"Don't be," she said, matter of factly, as she picked up the ringing phone.

Harry walked away. He looked tired, she thought.

"Harry," she called, offering out the phone, "Alec."

He took the handset from her, his fingers brushing hers.

"Yes."

"Harry, he's dead."

"Good."

"He shot at us, we returned fire."

He was about to put the phone down.

"Harry, there's something else.'

"What?'

"Something not quite right."

"Like what, Alec?'

"I'm not sure, something about the look on his face. I think Tariq should double check that he didn't get more access than we thought."

"We'll do that. Now, get back here."

"And Harry, we found some references to Narwaaz on his computer."

Harry paused, curious as to the link, he didn't believe in coincidence. He handed the phone back to Ruth, relieved that at least she was safe from McGuire now.

"Seems he won't be a problem anymore, he's dead," he stated.

"Good," she said echoing his own words.

He nodded and turned away.

"Harry?"

He paused.

"Are you okay? You look tired."

"Long night," he said and smiled, his eyes running over her face.

She held his gaze for a moment but then the intensity forced her away.

He returned to his office and sat down, grateful for one less lunatic.

xxx

"We found this, said Alec, handing Harry a photo and a letter.

He looked at the photo, recognising a young Jenny McGuire, she had been a beautiful young woman. He turned it over, on the back was written, 'for Harry, lest you forget.'

Harry raised his eyebrows and looked at Alec.

"You need to read the letter," stated Dimitri.

"What is it, the ravings of a revengeful madman?" said Harry.

"You need to read the letter," said Alec in a strange monotone.

It was then that Harry knew that there was something very, very wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

"Ruth, get your coat."

She looked at him. She knew him well enough to know that this was not the moment to argue. As the pod doors slid shut behind her she saw the expression on the faces of Alec and Dimitri and suddenly she felt wary.

He was driving through the traffic with a sense of great purpose, in fact it would have been more accurate to say that he was driving quite perilously. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel and his jaw was set.

"Harry, what's going on?"

He didn't answer.

"Harry? Tell me."

He glanced at her.

"McGuire. It wasn't about access to the grid."

"Then what?"

Again he said nothing, heart hammering in his chest, breath difficult to inhale, stress rising like a tide.

"Harry, you're scared. Why?"

"It's you, Ruth."

"What about me?"

Harry gripped the steering wheel even tighter.

"That cut….he's put something in your head."

She looked at him but she didn't understand.

"Tell me where we're going."

"The hospital," he said as the traffic parted and he floored the pedal.

.


	8. Chapter 8

**Still don't really know what I'm talking about, but here goes again!**

* * *

"An X-Ray," said the nurse.

"No! A CT scan, now!" Harry shouted.

Ruth felt frightened. He had still refused to tell her what was happening, what was in her head and worse still she knew whatever it was, was frightening him more than she had ever seen.

"Fine," the nurse was not happy with his attitude, even if he was somebody vaguely important.

He didn't care.

"Harry, please tell me."

"Let's get the scan first Ruth."

She nodded and followed the nurse.

Harry grabbed the scan from the doctor's hand. He stared at it. It was as much confirmation as they could get of what McGuire had claimed.

The doctor was still trying to explain that he had seen nothing like this before, little understanding what he was seeing. Harry turned away the only thing on his mind to get back to Ruth.

She sat quietly waiting for him.

"We have to get back to the Grid," he said, in as much of a hurry to get back as he had been to get to the hospital in the first place.

She followed him, glancing at the envelope in his hand, wondering.

He strode to the car, pressing the remote and opening the door for her to get in. She did not.

"No more, Harry. Tell me now."

"Ruth, please."

"No. Whatever is going on, this is my head, now bloody well tell me what's in it!"

He leant against the car and for a moment she thought how pale and drawn he looked.

He took a deep breath and released it slowly, trying to calm himself for her.

He took her hands in his.

And then she knew she really was in trouble.

"McGuire has implanted a small electronic device in the back of your head with a limited life span."

She looked at him intently, waiting for the rest.

"It…it… will.." he was struggling to find the words.

"What Harry?"

He started again.

"When it reaches the end of that life span it ….will …implode."

Ruth's breath caught in her chest.

"According to McGuire it has a sensor and if we try and remove it the charge will be released with the same effect."

Ruth looked at him, fighting to remember to breath.

"How long is it's lifespan, Harry? How long is _my_ lifespan."

"Twelve hours."

She looked at her hands, they were still in his. She couldn't feel them. She was regarding them as though they belonged to someone else. She could see his fingers grasping hers, could see the tension in his hands, could see her fingernails digging in into her palms, pushing against the skin, her knuckles white. And then slowly, slowly she began to feel the pain of them, piercing her hands. She looked up into his face and saw a different, desperate sadness.

"We'll find a way, Ruth. We will find a way."

She wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe himself.

She nodded and got into the car.

There were eleven hours and fifty six minutes remaining.


	9. Chapter 9

**Short one, more later.**

* * *

_11 Hrs, 40 mins_

They sat in the briefing room and tried not to look too much at Ruth. They tried not to think about the time bomb ticking away inside her head. They tried not to look at their watches. They tried not to think about the possibility of failure.

"Go," said Harry. And they went, each assigned the task of finding an answer to the seemingly impossible question of how to make Ruth safe.

Ruth remained.

"What shall I do?" she asked.

He wanted to say relax, he wanted to say be happy, be near me, be with me in the time that remained.

"Do you really want to do something?"

"Of course, I can't just sit here, Harry, or I'll go mad."

"Then I'll give you all I know on McGuire and you can try and trace any links to other former paramilitaries who may have used any similar device."

"Good," she said and got up to leave.

"Ruth,"

She paused.

"I won't let you die."

She smiled sadly.

"You can't always protect me, you know," she said softly.

He stood up to face her.

"Ruth, I…." He didn't truly know where to start but he felt time pressing upon him. His hand hovered at the top of her arm. His eyes searched hers.

"I know Harry, but now's not the time."

"Then when is? When will it ever be the time?"

She looked at her watch, "in about eleven hours and thirty minutes."

And with that she walked away.


	10. Chapter 10

_9 Hrs, 20 mins_

Harry read the letter for the umpteenth time, searching desperately for something, anything that may have a meaning, an inference that they had missed.

So far he had found nothing.

He began again.

_Dear Harry,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. In fact I hope it finds you healthy and happy. The healthier so that you have longer to experience the pain I am about to inflict on you, the happier to help you understand the meaning of true sorrow._

_She may not be your wife but I know there is someone, and I know that someone is called Ruth. You are going to be able to watch Ruth die, to count down the minutes to the moment where she will be taken from you, as you took my Jenny from me. It is my gift to you, Harry and I hope you relish every moment of it. _

_Tick tock, Harry._

_The heroin, I am afraid was just a ruse. Your easy capture of Narwaaz left you plenty of time to return to the grid and find Ruth. But she's not as you left her Harry. You failed to protect her and you let a bastard like me in to finally teach you the meaning of loss._

_I've watched you, Harry, I've watched you for months and I've seen how you look at her. I've read the reports and I know what you did for her. You love her and now you'll watch as the minutes slip by and I will take her from you and break your heart._

_Has she complained of a sore neck, yet? A small cut, perhaps? You won't be able to kiss this one better. _

_Tick tock._

_There is an implant at the base of her skull. Sixty hours after you found her drugged that implant will destroy itself with a small explosive charge that will take Ruth's brain with it. _

_I wonder if you'll have the strength to be there to watch it, or whether you'll turn away in horror. You could put her out of the pain and misery to come and drug her as I did. What will you do, Harry? And how will you feel as you fall to the floor amidst the blood and the brains and the flesh and the death and the horror of it. Will your heart break? Will you blame yourself? Will you grieve for the rest of your life like I have done? How will you feel, Harry? _

_I'll tell you how you'll feel. You'll wake every morning and you'll remember the stench of death. You'll wake and know it was your fault. You'll feel empty inside and you'll feel lost and alone and you'll regret all the things you never said and did. And then you'll think of me and not her and see my face and curse the day you ever came to Ireland. _

_I laugh at your pain and wish you the seven horrors of hell. _

_Goodbye Harry and enjoy your time together before her face is blown apart before you._

_Yours, Johnny McGuire._

_PS Don't think you can remove the device. The moment you go near it, particularly the moment you expose it to the air it will detonate._

_Have fun._


	11. Chapter 11

_7 Hrs, 6 mins_

Tariq shook his head. Nothing.

Harry sighed.

His frustration was growing. No one had made any progress. The CT scan had been analysed every which way, nothing new was forthcoming.

"There must be something?" he said through gritted teeth.

"The simplicity of the design is brilliant…."

A fisted hand hammered down on to the table before a shocked Tariq, he tried not to flinch but failed. The faces on the grid looked up at the sudden noise.

"Brilliant?" shouted Harry.

"No, not brilliant, clearly not," stuttered Tariq.

Harry sucked in the air and tried to regain control of both his breathing and the overwhelming stress that was grasping at his chest.

He patted the younger man on the shoulder by way of an apology and turned away to the only place he knew that could usually calm his frayed nerves, the roof.

Alec crossed towards Ruth's desk. He pulled up a chair alongside her.

"How are you doing?"

"I can't find anything. McGuire seemed to have been working alone, he's had no contact with any other groups."

"No, Ruth, I meant how are _you_ doing?"

She looked at him blankly.

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit."

This time her eyes blazed at him.

"Well, how do you think I'm doing!"

"I would imagine you are scared, angry, frustrated and upset," he said softly.

She sighed.

"And that's probably not the half of it," he added.

"No," she said, "it's not."

Alec knew his next comment was the most sensitive.

"Do you not think that maybe you need to talk to Harry?"

"About what?"

He looked at her, eyebrows raised, surprised she could even ask the question.

"Ruth…"

She looked at him, innocently.

"We will do everything, everything we can, you know that?"

She nodded.

"But if we fail….if we fail, do you really want to have spent your last hours not making peace with Harry? Do you want to waste the only time you might have left with him?"

For a moment Alec thought he was about to hear an adamant refusal of Ruth's feelings, a denial that there was anything there that he should concern himself with.

It crossed her mind. It nearly reached her lips. But she said nothing.

"I think you'll find him on the roof," added Alec and turned away.

She looked to Harry's office, she thought of his anger at Tariq, she thought of the sadness in his face, the loss he felt now, nevermind the loss to come. And she got up and reached for her coat.

The air was cold and damp, the skyline misty and grey.

She watched him slumped over the railing. His head in his hands. His breathing heavy and laboured. His back bent.

She moved to stand at his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Harry," she said.

His head shot round to her and immediately turned back away so that she could not see the tears in his eyes.

Too late.

"What have you to be sorry for?" he whispered.

"For always hurting you."

He was shaking his head, his gaze towards the city still. Not daring to look at her, not trusting his voice to speak.

"I'm hungry, Harry. Would you like to go and get something to eat?"

"Now?" he asked, surprised.

"Why not? Now's as good a time as any. I can't find anything and I don't think I can think straight anyway. The others are doing everything and more. I just thought I'd like to have some lunch with you. And I thought you might like that too."

Harry nodded, he still hadn't looked at her. He was trying to rid himself of the images put there by McGuire, he was trying to shut the letter out of his mind. He was trying to look at her face without seeing an unbearable future.

"That's very presumptuous of you, Ruth," he said, clinging to something, something familiar and comforting, "I might not want to come."

"But I think you do and I think you will."

Harry rubbed his face in a tired gesture, brushing away any evidence of his remaining tears.

"Come on then," he said finally, "I'm sure I can stand you a sandwich."

"I was thinking more a risotto and a bottle of burgundy."

"White burgundy?"

"Yes, Harry, white burgundy."


	12. Chapter 12

_6 Hrs, 32 mins_

"Well?" asked Alec.

Dimitri and Tariq looked rather pleased with themselves.

"Say something," demanded Beth.

"Okay, well, we've studied the scans and attempted to replicate something which resembles the device," answered Dimitri.

"As near as we can tell," added Tariq.

"Good," Alec thanked god for some progress and for the lack of a tense Harry on the grid.

"And now we are going to test the theory of extraction," Dimitri held a small sealed dish in his hand.

"The device is sealed in here and embedded in a substance which matches the conditions under the skin at the base of the brain," Tariq informed them as he prepared to remove the lid of the dish. "The charge is slight and as far as we know significantly less than what McGuire was threatening."

Dimitri was wearing gloves and protective glasses, as was Tariq.

Beth and Alec stood back.

With one swift gesture Tariq removed the lid of the dish and with a pair of tweezers reached into the liquid for the device, before he had any chance to take hold the dish was gone, the liquid splattering across them both, the device destroyed.

All four faces sped through shock, horror, disappointment and fear.

No one dared speak. All had the same thought, the thought of what lay within Ruth, the significant difference in charge and the damage it would inflict.

"Keep trying," said Alec quietly.

_6 hrs, 19 mins_

"Tell me again where you'd go," she said, raising the glass to her lips.

"Paris, Rome, Madrid, Berlin….erm…Florence."

"Yes, Florence. Florence would be lovely."

"Florence it is then," he smiled, "where else?"

"Carcasonne."

"France?"

"Yes, the city in the castle."

"Have you been, Ruth?"

"No, just seen pictures, but it looks beautiful, like a fairytale. Have you been?"

He shook his head.

"Shall we add it to the list?"

"Definitely," she answered, "now you choose."

And so they continued. No talk of death. No talk of time. Just a wish list of places. A dream. A dream of hope and life. A dream they knew was just that, a fancy, a mirage, a fantasy.


	13. Chapter 13

_5 hrs, 52 mins_

Harry reached for his phone.

"Don't," said Ruth.

He looked at her, confused.

"If there were any news they'd have called already."

He put down the phone and picked up his coffee cup. Real life had returned.

"You look tired," she said.

He smiled, it was the least of his worries.

"When did you last sleep Harry?"

"Tuesday."

She looked at him and knew she had been the cause of it, not that he would probably admit that.

"You need to rest,"

"It can wait, Ruth."

_5 hrs, 31 mins_

Beth was trawling the intel, trying to find anyone close to McGuire, anyone who may have known his plan.

A small 'bang' came from beyond the wall.

Her stomach tightened in a knot of panic and despair. Dimiri emerged pulling off his gloves. He threw them angrily across the grid and slumped at his desk.

Beth had found no one. Nothing. She looked at her terminal and at Dimitri and felt the hope draining away from her.

_5 hrs, 17 mins_

The mist was lifting and a weak sun was filtering through the clouds, though it's warmth was still palpable and most welcome.

They walked side by side along the Embankment, looking out to the river, both lost in their own thoughts, both trying to exist in the here and now but both limited by the band that burned on their wrists that told them that there was just over five hours remaining.

Harry stopped and turned to the river.

With one swift gesture he pulled the watch from his wrist and hurled it into the swirling water. He leant against the wall, breathing heavily as the world swam around him, dizzy, weak, tired, helpless.

He felt a hand on his arm and a warmth spread from it.

"Harry, come on, sit down."

She steered him to a bench and they sat in the sunshine. His head resting in his hands, he wondered what good he was to her like this.

Her hand wound around his back and she pulled him to her until his head tipped back towards her shoulder and rested there.

"Close your eyes," she said, "and feel the sunshine."

And within seconds the detail of the world was drifting away, the sounds of the city dulled and capped, the sun warm on his face, her scent filling his senses as sleep overwhelmed him.

_4 hrs, 41 mins_

"What is it?"

Tariq was white.

"Tariq?" Alec asked again.

"We've miscalculated. I… miscalculated."

Alec waited.

"When Harry asked how much time she had left. I said twelve hours. It was ten."

"What?"

"It was ten. Sixty hours from when we found her. It was ten, not twelve. No one questioned it, they didn't even check."

Alec rubbed his face as he felt the world closing in.

"Where are they?"

"By the river."

"Call Harry and tell him."

Tariq looked like immobility had overcome him, terrified at the thought.

"Fine," said Alec, "I'll tell him. You get back in there and find a bloody solution."

Tariq fled back to the forgery suite.

Harry woke with a start. He looked at Ruth who smiled softly at him. He wondered how she was so calm.

"Yes," he said curtly, "what…."

He almost threw the phone after the watch.

His knuckles gripped it as a wave of nausea rose in his stomach. He disconnected absentmindedly.

"Why did you let me sleep?" he rasped accusingly.

"You needed it," she said simply.

"How long?" he asked, needing to know how much time he had wasted with her.

"Not long."

"We have to get back," he muttered, getting up.

"Have they found something?" she asked, hope rising.

He looked at her and shook his head.

"There's less time that we thought."

"How long?" she held her breath, waiting for the sentence.

"Not long," he whispered.


	14. Chapter 14

_1 hr, 33 mins._

Ruth sat at her desk. She didn't know why exactly. She wasn't concentrating on anything before her.

Harry was working his way quietly between the various team members. The updates were all much the same, there was no progress and no news, other than bad news.

Frustrated and anxious he returned to his office in need of a large scotch. As he slid open the door he found Ruth sitting in front of his desk.

"I haven't even got time to watch Titanic."

"Would you want to watch Titanic?" he asked.

"No, not really. I prefer A Night to Remember, if anything."

"Perhaps something other than a disaster movie may be better anyway, Ruth."

"Perhaps," she smiled.

He sat down and hesitated before asking the next question.

"Is there something you would like to do, somewhere you'd like to be?"

"You mean something that takes less than two hours?"

He stood back up and crossed around his desk, perching before her.

Her name was all he said but in it she heard all the pain, all the dread and yet all the love in his heart.

"I can't do this, Harry."

"Ruth" he repeated, "please talk to me."

"Fine," she said abruptly, "what are you going to do without me?"

He stared at her, with no idea of how to answer.

"I'll tell you, Harry. You'll get another analyst and life will go on, the grid will go on, Five will go on, and the six or seven people who go to my funeral will go on." He still had no answer.

"The wheel turns Harry and keeps on turning."

"NO!" he shouted suddenly, sending most of the contents of his desk flying in several directions.

"No, Ruth, please, no," he pulled her to her feet from the chair, his eyes burning into hers, his face pleading.

His hand grasped her face and she felt his hand shaking.

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"Yes," she said quietly.

"The world won't go on turning for me, Ruth, I don't want it to."

"It will, you can't stop it, like it or not."

"I don't like it and I won't let it happen. I can't lose you again, Ruth."

His hand fell from her face as he sagged back against the desk. She watched him for a moment before she stepped closer to him, winding her hands around his neck and pulling him to her, cradling his head against her, rocking him slowly like a child, comforting against what might be to come, harbouring him from the harshness of the world.


	15. Chapter 15

**Tiny chapter - can't do more - out tonight. Will update tomorrow. Thanks for all fab reviews.**

* * *

_1 hr 47 mins_

Harry felt the vibration of the bang through the wall.

Another failure.

He looked at Ruth.

For the very first time she looked frightened.

He smiled, no mirth, no joy. It was a smile to comfort her, to let her know that he was there and he would always be there, however long always might turn out to be.


	16. Chapter 16

_1 hr, 07 mins_

Harry picked up the phone, it was Alec, staring at him from the other side of the glass.

"Harry, we should move Ruth into a holding room, it's getting close and we have no idea of the true extent of what the blast could be."

Harry said nothing, his eyes flicked from Ruth sitting opposite him to Alec beyond the glass.

He nodded.

"We've already prepared one, made it comfortable," said Alec gently, "I'm sorry but there's no other news. We won't give up, though."

Ruth watched Harry put the phone down.

"We need to move," he said quietly and held out his hand to her.

She nodded, took it and got to her feet.

The two stood, their hands still together, neither wanting to let go.

"How long, Harry?"

"An hour, just over."

She turned to the door and paused as she slid it back, glancing over her shoulder at his office. A chill ran through him as he watched her preparing herself to say goodbye to all she knew.

They crossed the grid. Beth looked up, her eyes welled with tears, she made to stand, to say something, to go to Ruth, to hug her but the look in Ruth's eyes told her to stop, told her not to do, or say, anything.

As they walked on an agonised scream of expletives erupted from the forgery suite. Dimitri's voice told them that their last theory had failed again.

Tariq's voice tried to calm him.

"We'll adapt it, next time, we'll find the level."

"There's no time for a next time, Tariq, we have to get this right!"

"Then stop shouting and get on with it!"

Ruth, smiled, she didn't know why. They sounded like children bickering. The smile slid away.

Head down now, with Harry's hand hovering around her back they opened the door to the holding room, entered and closed it firmly behind them.


	17. Chapter 17

_1 hr, 05 mins_

The room had indeed been given a facelift. Where there was once only a table and chairs, now there stood a small leather sofa. Against the wall a new unit, upon it a kettle, a selection of teabags, chosen especially for Ruth, coffee and cups. Besides that stood a bottle of scotch and a bottle of red wine. A telephone and laptop sat on the table at the opposite side of the room.

"Am I safe in here, Harry…I mean is everyone safe from me?"

He nodded.

"Within the parameters of the device, yes."

"What are the parameters?"

He instinctively moved to the scotch and began to pour two well proportioned measures.

"Anything from a small, seemingly innocuous impact to taking out most of the contents of this room," he handed her a glass and sank onto the sofa next to her.

She took a large drink and sighed.

"Why did you ask me to dinner?"

He looked at her confused by the switch in conversation.

"On the rooftop, years ago," she added, "why then?"

"Because of Juliet."

It was not the answer she had expected.

"Juliet?"

"Yes."

"I don't follow."

Harry smiled, swirling the whiskey around its tumbler.

"She told me that you were in love with me, Ruth, and…well, it seemed like a good idea to ask you out."

"She said that?" Ruth's face was a picture of surprise and confusion.

"Mmm" he said downing at least half the contents of the glass and getting up, this time to bring the bottle to them.

"And were you?" he dared to ask.

"Yes," she said, eyes buried, "I was."

He smiled and wondered if there were any chance left that she still was.

"It all started when I found myself wanting to twang your braces," she laughed.

"You should have said, Ruth, you would have been more than welcome."

"You were my boss and I thought I was just being ridiculous to want you."

"Thanks very much," he smiled, eyes never leaving her now.

"No, I didn't mean it like that, it was just difficult because you were senior and in charge and unobtainable."

"Two of them, perhaps, but never the third. You did say yes, though…to dinner."

"I did," her eyes darted to him, "and it was a lovely dinner with wonderful conversation and you were…different."

"Different how?"

"You weren't a boss, you weren't in charge, you were just a man."

"I've always been that, Ruth," he whispered, his face a little closer to her now, his breath firey with the whisky.

She smiled but did not look away.

"And was I still unobtainable?"

Now she laughed once more.

"Hardly, you were offering me half of Europe, when I dared to believe it was me you meant."

"It was only ever you, Ruth."

"I'm sorry, for afterwards, for telling you that I couldn't see you again. I just panicked, I suppose, suddenly we were back at work and I was being talked about, the woman seeing her boss and I couldn't cope with that."

She glanced away sadly.

"By the time I had almost reconciled myself to that, Cotterdam kicked off."

"It seems like our timing has always been off," he said gazing at her and seeing all their missed opportunities.

She nodded.

"You asked me once if I loved George…."

"And you wouldn't answer."

"I did love him. Fondly, no more…..not like you."

"I'm sorry, Ruth, sorry for all that happened."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Harry, none of it was your fault."

"All I've ever managed to do is put you in danger," finally his eyes left her and he rested his elbows on his knees and lost himself in regrets in the bottom of his glass.

"Do you regret our relationship?" she asked.

"I regret that we've never had a relationship."

"So do I," she said quietly.

His head swung round to her.

She smiled, "you know it's quite liberating have a bomb buried in your head,"

"Liberating?" he said, amazed, "how so?"

"Because it's easier to do this,"

She leant forward to kiss him but paused only millimetres from his lips.

"Unless your ego feels bruised by the thought that I'll only kiss you when I'm about to leave the country or get blown up?"

"Don't worry about my ego, Ruth, it can cope any which way you want to kiss me."

This time it was he who advanced the final few millimetres and met her lips with his own.

If he only had fifty minutes left to kiss her, he was going to make sure he made the most of it.


	18. Chapter 18

Ruth pulled back and looked at him.

"Why haven't you kissed me like that before?"

"I didn't know you wanted me to," he said, his fingers still caressing her face.

"Trust me, Harry, I haven't known what I wanted."

"You want this, though" his lips brushed over her cheek as he spoke and before she had finished swaying "oh, yes," she had lost the chance to speak as he overwhelmed her again.

Finally they pulled apart once more but this time the contact was barely broken, their faces not wanting to be parted, their hands not wanting to let go.

Forehead against forehead they both smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked.

"I don't know. Why are you?"

"I don't know."

And that made them laugh.

"This is really not the time to be laughing," she said, laughing.

"I know," he said seriously now. And then laughed.

The two sat facing each other, arms and hands wound round the other craving the contact whilst the release of their laughter rose and then slowly ebbed away.

"I wish you'd said yes," whispered Harry.

"To what?"

"In the churchyard."

"Oh," she said, "so do I."

"You do?" he said surprised.

"Yes, Harry, I do."

He kissed her again, delicately and tenderly, "I do, too, Ruth."

The holding door opened. They both turned. Unusually neither was embarrassed, neither cared.

"I'm sorry," said Alec.

He hated the glimmer of hope in Harry's eyes, the hope that he had brought some news, good news. He didn't want to have to say this before Ruth.

"Alec?"

"The time is not an accurate one, there is no great certainty to it. It could be within the next few minutes. It's not safe to be in here."

Ruth looked at her watch. _Eleven minutes._ My god.

"That's my decision, Alec," said Harry. It was a dismissal and Alec knew it. He turned and went.

"You have to go, Harry."

"I'm going nowhere, Ruth."

"No, you can't stay here,"

"I can and I will."

"Harry, please."

She struggled against him but his arms wound back round her and he pulled her to him, pinning her to his chest.

"I'm staying, Ruth."


	19. Chapter 19

Alec glanced at the picture of the two of them on the video intercom outside the room and then he turned with great haste to press Tariq, Dimitri and the recently arrived Malcolm. Time had moved beyond tight and was almost passing critical.

On the other side of the wall Harry held Ruth tightly in his arms, her head resting against his chest feeling his rapid heartbeat.

"Where did all the time go, Harry?"

He didn't know whether she meant in the here and now, or the been and gone.

"I don't know" he whispered, stroking her hair.

As much as she tried she could not stop herself from looking at the clock.

"Ten minutes."

Harry's eyes were also drawn there, drawn to the life sentence that hung literally and metaphorically over their heads.

"We still don't know for certain that it's ten. It might be five, it might be fifteen," he said.

"I think that's worse than having a proper countdown," she sighed

He wished for neither option.

"I thought I was ready, that when it happened, which it would, that I'd know it was my time, my turn." She moved her head to look up at him.

"But I'm not ready," her hand reached up and stroked his cheek lovingly, "not now."

His heart was breaking for them both as the words from McGuire's letter came back to taunt him. To haunt him.

_I wonder if you'll have the strength to be there to watch it, or whether you'll turn away in horror. You could put her out of the pain and misery to come and drug her as I did. What will you do, Harry? And how will you feel as you fall to the floor amidst the blood and the brains and the flesh and the death and the horror of it._

"Will it hurt, do you think?"

He closed his eyes momentarily as his heart screamed.

"No, my love, it'll be quick."

She smiled.

"What?" he asked.

"It sounds strange."

"What does?"

"My love"

"Sorry," he didn't know what else to say.

"No, Harry, _nice_ strange, I could get used to it...if we only had the time."

He was quiet.

"I'm scared Harry."

"I know, I know," he lay his hand over hers, turning it and kissing her palm.

And before he spoke again he hesitated.

"Ruth?"

Her eyes looked up at him trustingly.

"Ruth, if you want, if it would make it easier, I could give you something...a sedative, but only if you want?"

She shook her head and buried it back into his chest.

She said nothing for what felt an eternity.

And then.

"Yes, Harry, I think I would prefer that."

"Are you sure?"

They both knew he wasn't actually talking about a sedative.

"Yes, I'm sure."

He looked at her for a long time and then he stood up.

"I'll be quick."

He walked towards the door, the image in his mind of the syringe within his safe. And yet he wondered that even if she begged him, would he be capable of using it. Why had he even suggested the idea? His pace slowed as he fought the temptation to just run back to her and then he opened the door and stepped out into the corridor.

As he did so the door closed behind him and he heard the lock slide into place and with a depth of horror he had never felt before he realized what she had done.

And then he roared to the heavens. A sound of all the agonies of hell.

* * *

**More this evening. May even end this evening if I get a wriggle on! So I don't drag out the agony much more!**


	20. Chapter 20

"Ruth, open the door."

He could see her on the screen in front of him. He knew she could hear him, though she couldn't see him.

"Ruth!" He shouted.

"I'm sorry Harry, but I can't let you do this, there's no need for us both to die."

Her hand lifted to where she knew the camera was and her fingers splayed across the screen as if, in doing so, she could touch him one last time. His hand instinctively met hers.

"Please, Ruth…" he begged.

"I'm sorry," she said again and as she smiled she turned off the audio and walked away.

He watched her go as he shouted for her, unheard and unheeded.

She slumped against the wall and slid down it. A small, sad and beautiful figure.

Alone.

* * *

"Dimitri!"

Harry appeared at the forgery suite, he clocked Tariq, Malcolm, Beth and Alec but his eyes searched for Dimitri

"Dimitri, open the holding room door, now!"

"It shouldn't be locked," he answered, confused.

"No, it shouldn't but this is Ruth we're talking about. Now open the door, or so help me god I'll…"

Dimitri needed no more bidding. He ran from the room.

* * *

Ruth looked at the clock once more. It had passed five minutes. It was down to one. One or perhaps six. Who knew?

She wished he was there with her, she wished she had the time she craved with him, she wished for years not minutes.

She was wishing her life away.

And then it came...

The explosion.

Ripping through her head.

As the smoke and dust cleared his silhouette stood in the doorway, the door swinging from its hinges.

And then he was in the room with her, sitting on the floor beside her.

"No Harry, please. Go away! You might die."

"And I might not. And if I do, I don't care!"

"But it's not your turn!"

"No, it's our turn, Ruth. Ours."

"No. No. No."

"Please, Ruth," he begged, "stop trying to save me and just let me love you."

The tears began to fall down her face and she stopped fighting and she clung to him and let him do as he bid.

And so he held her and he loved her.

* * *

**I promise the conclusion next.**


	21. Chapter 21

There was a sound building in the air. Something was approaching.

It was time.

Tariq and Dimitri hurtled through the doorway.

"We think we've got it!"

Harry scrambled to his feet, dragging Ruth with him.

"Is there time?" she asked.

"We won't know until we try."

"Is it safe?" asked Harry

"Malcolm thinks it will work," Tariq was brandishing some device or other.

"Malcolm?" exclaimed Ruth.

"Oh, yes, all hands to the pump for you, Evershed," Dimitri grinned brandishing a knife.

"If you get this wrong, you're both fired," growled Harry.

"If we get this wrong there won't be anything of us left to fire."

Ruth didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"You need to hold very still," said Tariq "and it will hurt."

Harry looked to Ruth and took her face in his hands and cradled it still and safe.

"We've adapted an EMP, it should disable the device and give us several seconds delay on the sensor."

"How many seconds?" Harry asked, not taking his eyes from Ruth.

"More than two," whispered Tariq.

"This is madness," exclaimed Ruth, "now get out of here."

Harry planted his forehead against hers.

"Ruth," he whispered, "shhh."

Dimitri looked at Tariq, "I've got this now. Go."

A look passed between them and Dimitri nodded to reinforce his point.

Tariq grasped Ruth's hand for the briefest of moments and turned for the door.

"Harry, hold her tight."

A hand wound around Ruth's waist and braced her back, his other refused to let go of her face, his forehead still propped against hers.

"Okay, here goes," said Dimitri.

"I love you," whispered lips against hers.

"Harry…" was all she managed before they heard the electric charge build. It silently pulsed and Dimitri drew the knife quickly across her scalp, dropping it to the floor.

Ruth flinched but her eyes were fixed on Harry, his breath mixing with hers, her nose crushed against his, his lips open against hers.

Beth, Alec, Malcolm and Tariq watched the monitor. They held as still as Ruth.

They saw the two bodies need for each other and they held their combined breaths for them.

Harry prayed to every god the world had ever known.

Ruth closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his.

On the monitor they watched as Dimitri's arm prepared to flick away from Ruth's head.

And then the explosion came...

The room was filled with smoke and heat and rubble.

The monitor went black.

...

Harry's ears were ringing, his head sore, but his hands….the blood covered his hands. It was not his blood.

_'How will you feel as you fall to the floor amidst the blood and the brains and the flesh and the death and the horror of it? …. you'll think of me and not her and see my face and curse the day you ever came to Ireland. _

_I laugh at your pain and wish you the seven horrors of hell.'_

Fuck McGuire! Fuck that image in his head. Please god, let it not be true.

Ruth, where was Ruth?

His arm was heavy, he couldn't move it. He still couldn't see properly through the dust.

And then he realised with horror that there was a body lying on it.

"Ruth…"

She turned towards him.

"Still here," she whispered.

She started laughing, or crying, he wasn't sure which, neither was she.

"Dimitri!" called Harry.

"Fine," came a shout from behind them.

And then there were more voices and footsteps and figures through the dust and hands were reaching for them.

Harry didn't want the hands or the others, he just wanted Ruth.

* * *

**Conclusion to come tomorrow but at least you can all go to sleep now!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Overwhelmed by all the reviews, thank you. Few chapters remaining of fluff to ease your aching nerves. Enjoy.**

* * *

It was the same brusque doctor in the emergency ward for whom Harry was most certainly not in the mood.

"How is she?" he demanded.

"Well, she seems to have been in the wars lately." The doctor was somewhat surprised as to why a quiet, innocuous looking woman like Ruth should manage to be in the hospital three times in as many days for a heroin overdose, a CT scan and now a head wound, though she looked more like she'd just walked out of a bomb blast.

"Indeed she has, but how is she?"

"I don't believe I can tell you that, Mr Pearce, you aren't family."

"I'm her partner."

"The last time you said you weren't."

"Things change," said Harry.

The doctor raised his eyebrows sceptically.

"You'll probably be back tomorrow telling me you're her husband."

"Yes," said Harry, "I probably will. Now how the hell is she?"

"She's fine, go in and see her. Cubicle three."

The doctor walked off, supercilious and exceedingly annoying.

Harry pulled the curtain.

Ruth looked up.

A nurse was just finishing treating the wound at the back of her head.

"There you go, I'll just go and get you a spare dressing to take away with you."

"Thank you," said Ruth.

"Hi," said Harry softly when the nurse had disappeared.

"Hi," she said.

"How you doing?"

"Fine. You?"

"My ears are still ringing and I'm knackered, but I'll live, Ruth."

She stood up, a little too quickly and he immediately was at her side to steady her, his hand on her arm. She looked up into his eyes and for a moment the world stopped turning.

His head bent slowly towards her, inching ever closer. When he was only a breath away she pulled back.

"I can't kiss you," she said, watching the disappointment spread across his face.

"I'm sorry, Ruth."

His hand fell from her arm as he stepped away.

"Harry, I can only kiss you when I'm leaving or about to die."

The nurse waked back in with the dressing, "There you go, any major headaches or dizziness then come back straight away."

"Can she go now?" asked Harry.

"Yes, of course," smiled the nurse and disappeared again.

"Looks like you're about to leave, Ruth," he said, hopefully.

"It does, doesn't it," she smiled and stepped close to him, "in that case I better kiss you."

"Yes," he said, his lips a hair's breadth from hers, "you better had."

xxx

The phone rang as they were crossing the car park.

"Yes."

"How is she?" asked Alec.

"She's just fine," said Harry as he reached out and took her hand, "Dimitri okay?"

"When is Dimitri ever not okay when he's blowing things up."

Harry laughed. Ruth guessing at Alec's reply smiled.

"Alec, I'm taking Ruth home…"

"Don't worry, we'll leave you in peace, unless Parliament's about to be blown up."

"Let's hope to god not."

Harry disconnected and slipped the phone back into his pocket.

"You're taking me home?"

"Yes, unless you want to get the bus, Ruth?"

"No," she smiled, "I think I'll give the bus a miss today."

"That's good because the way you're going at the moment you're likely to get abducted, drugged or incinerated by the bus conductor I upset twelve years ago!"

"You just upset the one?" she asked.

"Probably not," he laughed and then he stopped and looked at her seriously.

"What is it, Harry?"

"Ruth, there are people out there, too many of them. People I've forgotten, like McGuire, and others. People who can hurt me through you. What if I can't protect you? It's not safe for you being near me."

"No, it's not."

"So maybe this isn't a good idea," he said, letting go of her hand.

She took it back.

"Harry, if it's not safe when we're not together, then we may as well be together, at least you'll be there to protect me overnight."

"I am anyway."

"What?"

"I park outside and watch your house if there's a danger."

She smiled and suddenly understood his tiredness.

"Well, then the only difference is that now you don't have to sit in the car."

He smiled.

"Come on," she said, pulling his hand, "or I will get the bus."


	23. Chapter 23

They sat side by side on her sofa surrounded by takeaway debris, cradling their glasses of wine.

The terrors of the day, the weight of the day had settled over them both. They were quiet, lost in their own worlds of what could have been.

"Harry,"

"Yes,"

"Did you really want to die?"

"No, of course not. But I didn't want to be without you either."

"It was a stupid thing to do, to break back in."

"Hardly stupid, Ruth. You're sitting here now."

"Well, just don't do it again," she warned.

"What, next time you have a bomb in your head?" he smiled.

"Yes, exactly. Next time I have a bomb in my head just bugger off to a safe distance."

"It will never happen, Ruth."

"No, you're right, one bomb's enough for anyone," she laughed.

"It is, but I meant I'll never bugger off again."

"Oh, right," she said.

"Unless you want me to…in actual fact," he added thoughtfully, "even if you do want me to, I won't."

"So I'm stuck with you, am I, Harry?"

He considered for a moment.

"Yes, you are."

She considered for a moment.

"Good."

xxx

Dimitri, Alec, Beth, Tariq and Malcolm sat in the George.

"So exactly how many seconds did the delay work for?" asked Malcolm.

Dimitri looked at him blankly.

"How long?" repeated Tariq.

"What?" said Dimitri.

"The explosion," Beth pointed to her ears.

"Harry and Ruth seem to be managing without hearing loss," said Alec.

"Sensitive ears, supposedly," added Beth by way of explanation.

Malcolm nodded sympathetically and then mouthed with pointed exaggeration "hooow looong the deelaay?"

Tariq and Beth sniggered.

"Two and half seconds," Dimitri announced loudly.

Alec drained his glass, shaking his head, wondering if they could have cut it any finer.

Malcolm and Tariq looked at each other, impressed with their own handiwork.

"Another pint?" asked Alec.

"Yes, thanks," said Dimitri.

"You heard that alright," muttered Alec on the way to the bar.

xxx

"Harry, I think it's that time," she said a little nervously. Her head was resting on his chest, his arm was round her shoulders, warm and protective.

"….it's been a long day and we're both tired."

Come on, she thought pick up on the fact that I'm trying to suggest we go to bed together. But he said nothing. How many hints did he need? Oh sod hints.

"Harry, take me to bed," she looked up, eyes ablaze with hope and need and desire.

Harry was fast asleep.

xxx

"Wonder what they're up to now?" Dimitri shouted.

Beth shushed him disapprovingly.

"It's none of our business," said Malcolm wisely.

"Besides, it's like thinking about your parents at it."

"Dimitri!"

Alec smiled, "thank god, it turned out how it did. How long have they been dancing around each other Malcolm?"

"Too long," he said pensively, "far too long."

"I've never seen anyone so desperate as Harry today," added Beth.

"Nor anyone as brave as Ruth," murmered Tariq.

A momentary silence settled upon them.

"At least they've found each other now… at last," concluded Malcolm and raised his glass in an unspoken toast.

xxx

Ruth stroked his shoulder and pulled the throw over him.

She had thought about waking him but he needed to sleep and she wasn't going anywhere. They'd waited for long enough, another night was nothing in the grand scale of things.

Let him rest she thought as she turned to the bedroom.

xxx

Harry awoke.

He was disorientated.

He was alone.

He rubbed his face and looked around the flat searching for a clock.

3am.

The throw was across his legs, he wasn't cold but he craved the warmth of her.

He got to his feet and quietly walked in the direction of the bedroom.

Her gentle, deep breathing guided him to the bed and he slipped off his trousers and shirt and slid in beside her.

He lay there, inches away from her wanting to wake her softly with kisses, but she needed to rest, to recover. He had waited for so long, he could wait a little longer and so he closed his eyes and with the knowledge she was safe beside him he drifted back to sleep and for once in his life they were good dreams that washed over him.


	24. Chapter 24

Ruth woke slowly and as she did she recognised a strangely different dynamic in her bed. She lay on her side at the edge of the mattress, blearily blinking at the room which looked the same though she knew something was different. She turned around and in her haze of sleep and confusion she was shocked to see that she was not alone.

Harry was on his side facing her, he had maintained his distance on 'his' side of the bed. He was asleep.

She remembered leaving him downstairs and yet here he was, unbidden but not unwelcome.

Over the top of the duvet his naked shoulder jutted out. Ruth lay and watched him. She watched his face in repose, she watched his shoulder, his skin, the tiny mole on the top of his arm. She was grateful that she had woken first to have these few moments to just watch him, to acclimatise to Harry, her boss, the man who would have died with her, the man who was here in her bed.

She wanted to reach out and feel the skin of his shoulder but she just looked. And then, her curiosity roused beyond resistance, she gently lifted the duvet and sneaked a look below. He was wearing only a pair of black trunks. Now cured of the need to know if he was completely naked she should have lowered the duvet back to its place. But she did not. She lay watching his chest rise and fall, his stomach, his thighs, his calves. She absorbed him and familiarised herself with him and very slowly her hand began to creep towards him.


	25. Chapter 25

One fingertip trailed across his collarbone and ran down and over his chest on its journey south. It slid onto his stomach and then around his hips, across the smooth cotton material of his trunks arriving at the firm solidity of his thigh where it lingered temporarily unwilling to undertake its return journey.

Ruth was mesmerised.

This was Harry. In her bed, under her hands.

And he felt rather good.

"Are you having fun, Ruth?" came a husky whisper, "or are you taking advantage of me?"

Ruth blushed furiously, caught out in her private reverie. Her hand, as if scolded shot away from him.

"I….I'm sorry…I was just…" she had no way to finish that sentence with any credible justification of what she was doing.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. In fact it's an exceptionally pleasant way to wake up."

He smiled that smile and she was lost.

And then much to her surprise he didn't reach out for her, he didn't pull her close he merely rolled over onto his back and closed his eyes.

Ruth watched him, she wanted to touch him again. Was he giving her permission, was that what he was doing, encouraging her? Her hand advanced slowly but deliberately and as she felt the warmth of him she let her hand trace patterns on his skin as it began its wonderful exploration of him again.

Harry lay still. He lay patiently. He exhorted more self restraint in those few minutes than he had in a lifetime, even around Ruth. This wasn't about being selfish, this was about letting Ruth feel comfortable, letting her dictate the pace, letting her take the initiative.

And so he let her run her hand over him, he felt her fingers dance and splay, her touch featherlite, then firmer. And though his body was crying out for her he remained still as her hands ran once more down his chest and around his hips.

Ruth hesitated. She could see the effect she was having on him and she found her hands were manouvering around him, teasing him, avoiding him. But yet they were drawn back there, flattered by the fact that he so clearly wanted her. Finally she could resist the urge no longer and her fingertips avoided the arc away and instead slowly, lightly ran the length of him.

Harry shuddered.

This was pushing self restraint to its very limits.

"Harry" she murmered softly.

And now he knew it was time.

Time for him.


	26. Chapter 26

"Close your eyes, Ruth," he breathed. She lay back and did as he bid, thankful that she was wearing her silk nightdress and not her old, battered pyjamas.

She felt his fingertips stroke her hand and drift slowly up her arm, barely brushing the tiny hairs that lay there, causing her to shiver for the first, but most definitely not the last time.

He reached the top of her arm and circled there for a moment before tracing a line across her collarbone and on up to her neck, stroking away the strands of her hair. She could feel and hear his breath against her ear. And she wanted him.

But he was only going to make her wait.

His hand slid down from her neck across her chest, his finger traced a path down, slowly down her cleavage and dipped over her ribs, sliding over her stomach and over her hips.

She held her breath.

His hand relished the skin of her legs at the base of her nightdress, it ran around behind her thigh and up, cupping the warmth and softness of her flesh and then as his hands pushed upwards, her nightdress rose with it.

Harry's lips found her neck and pressed against it, as she gasped for breath, lips and fingers finding and tantalising her.

And as his mouth traced a line over her chest, his tongue searching and finding her nipple, his hand sought and found the warmth of her and finally took her breath away.

She lay, eyes close, breathing ragged, senses heightened as he touched her, as he kissed her and as he loved her.

And then when she thought she could take no more he suddenly and forcibly turned her, one hand fastened to her breast, the other still massaging her to the point of near climax as he slid into her, slowly, sexily.

As she teetered on the edge of oblivion he withdrew and turned her back to him, kissing her as though there was no tomorrow and refound her, sliding slowly in and out until the two of them could last no longer and fell into a tumbling, turning, tumult of heightened emotion, as they burst forth into a world of delight.


	27. Epilogue

**And so we have made it to the end and survived! Here's a final bit of fluff and nonsense. Again many thanks for all your reviews.**

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Epilogue

"What would you like to do today?" he asked, whispering in her ear.

She smiled, mischievously.

"Ruth," he admonished.

She pondered.

"Get married."

He stopped stroking her shoulder and looked at her.

For a moment the two of them just gazed at each other.

"I think I misheard you, Ruth."

"I don't think you did," she smiled.

"Well say it again, just in case."

"Let's get married, Harry."

"When?"

"Today."

"Today?"

"Yes, today, let's get married today."

"I'm not sure it's as simple as that, Ruth."

"Well, if you don't want to, Harry, you just have to say."

"I want to, I just don't know if it's possible."

"Yesterday I didn't think it was possible to have a bomb implanted in my head , but it was,"

"Wouldn't you rather just stay in bed, Ruth? And let me do _this_ to you."

She moaned.

'_This_' was very tempting.

In fact an hour and a half later and '_this_' had become a bit of the other.

"Ruth, you're very easily distracted."

"I think you will find that any woman is easily distracted by _that_."

Harry opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted.

"Though I'd much rather you didn't test that theory out."

"I don't need to know about any other woman Ruth."

"Good," she said, thinking that if she found him doing that to anyone else she would have to implant a bomb into their head!

"So, about this wedding, Ruth…have you gone off the idea?"

"What, in the last hour and a half? No, I don't believe I have."

"Right, well I think as a knight of the realm that I am entitled to get married in Westminster Abbey."

"It's a bit grand,"

"Yes, and I'm not sure you can just turn up and request a same day delivery, as it were."

"No, I'm sure you're right."

"Leave it with me, Ruth and I'll see what I can do."

"Well, I don't want to put you to any trouble, Harry."

"No trouble, honestly."

"Good, fancy a cup of tea?"

"No I fancy you."

"You've had me."

"Oh, nowhere near enough yet, Ruth."


End file.
